P is for Parenting after Divorce.

P is for Parenting after Divorce

 

Many divorced couples will tell you that dealing with their ex after divorce is not an easy task, especially when children are involved. Do you want to continue with the conflict and communication breakdown, or are you willing to choose honor and integrity for the future well being of your children? The key is to always work towards a compromise.

To help make parenting with your ex less stressful, you may want to consider some of these tips:

  • Since communication is the key, begin by negotiating each of your responsibilities. This may include visitation, transfer agreements and who is responsible for what on each day, week, month and year. Having a schedule may help to avoid unnecessary conflict.

 

  • Discuss how much contact should occur between the two of you. If you are having differences in opinions, you should do your best to come to a mutual agreement that will benefit both parties.

 

  • If there is one important action you both will benefit from, it’s FLEXIABILITY! The unexpected is something we cannot avoid. Lending a hand and compromising on occasion will not only make your lives easier, it will have a positive effect on the daily lives of your children.

 

  •  Do try your best to keep the emotions of your failed marriage in the past. You are no longer living with your ex, but you are equally responsible for the raising of your children.

 

  •  Never put your children in the middle. Don’t ask your child to be messenger or schedule coordinator. Any matters that need altering must be discussed by the adults.

 

  • If speaking to your ex continually turns into an argument – stop verbal communication. You can use texting or email to help you compose a well thought out and clear-headed message. Keep in mind once in print you cannot take back the words you have chosen.

 

  •  When a medical issue, trouble at school or home arises – you must let your ex know immediately. This is also true for any of your child’s accomplishments; both parents should take part in the guidance, praise and congratulations.

 

  •  Try to remember that different parenting styles may not be a bad thing. It may actually benefit your children by helping them experience different ways of doing things.

 

Following some of these tips will help improve the quality of life for you, your ex and your children. It will also help show your children how to have healthy relationships when conflicts and separations occur in life.

Answers from AZ

About Ann Zuraw

Ann Zuraw, the voice behind "Chicks, Chat and Change", is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®), Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA®), and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA™). If you have comments on this post contact Ann Zuraw

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