Whether you are happy about it or not, you are now the ExecutiveDecision Maker. During your marriage, there were so many joint decisions that you made with your spouse…buying a house, whether or not to have kids, where the kids go to school, where you were going to live, how do you decorate your home, where do you go on vacation, etc. Every one of these decision had to be made either jointly or at least taking the partner’s opinion into consideration.
Now, it’s different. At this point, your ex probably does not have your best interest in mind when making decisions that will affect your well-being now and down the road. As Executive Decision Maker, you have the power to make the best possible decisions that will impact your life.
How do you know whether or not you are able to make an Executive Decision?
Do you have kids and what age are they? If they are under the age of 18, then you are going to have to work together on decisions affecting the kids. But look at the age of your kids. I see many women worried about the impact of the divorce on their kids and the kids are actually grown adults. There is usually no financial obligation to be responsible for kids after age 18, but many women cannot stop supporting them. I met a woman who was in her 70s and going into debt to support her unemployed daughter in her 50s and her grandson who was 20. Remember, you have got to take care of yourself first.
Are you financially independent? For example, do you have a job that you are able to support yourself with? Are you living within your means? As Executive Decision Maker you need to be responsible and realistic so you know your true financial situation.
Have you been so dependent on your spouse in the past that this seems too overwhelming for you to handle? Make your first Executive Decision…GET SOME HELP. My best advice is to seek professional support so that you can learn to make these decisions comfortably and with confidence. Seek out the help of therapists, financial advisors, etc. There are a tremendous amount of resources available at very little cost.
Divorce is a major life change. But being independent and making good, solid decisions is something you can be proud of.