U is for The Good, The Bad and The UGLY.

dealing with divorceJust like the famous 1960s Western, all marriages can have the good, the bad and sometimes the ugly. When you’re the one getting divorced, it’s easy to look to your friends’ marriages as storybook perfect. You may envy them or think they have ideal relationships. But remember that there is good, bad and ugly in every marriage, not just yours!

Of course, in the midst of a divorce, it seems all there is is ugly. The fights over custody. The dividing of assets. The memories of your bad marriage, bad decisions and what led you to these battles in the first place. Add to that the ugliness of your ex and all the “he said; she said,” and you’ve got a recipe for self-pity, hatred or other negative emotions.

But could all this ugliness be reframed? Could get through the ugliness ultimately point you to positive change?

Perhaps you’ve been stifled in a marriage that overshadowed the real you. Perhaps you wanted a man to define your life, but instead you ended up living his. Or perhaps your husband is simply better for you as a “was” band.

Could divorce actually be the break that you need to hear your own voice, to try new things, to raise your children on your own terms, to manage your own assets, to plan your own future?

It was something like that for country star Shania Twain, whose 14-year marriage ended in double betrayal when her husband cheated on her with her best friend. Talk about UGLY! But she’s managed to unearth the good here, most recently with a show on Oprah Winfrey’s OWN network that spotlights how others recover from hardships in their lives. Check it out and leave the ugly behind!

About Ann Zuraw

Ann Zuraw, the voice behind "Chicks, Chat and Change", is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®), Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA®), and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA™).If you have comments on this post contact Ann Zuraw

, , , ,